i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
and you fell through a lawn chair
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
