dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
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In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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