I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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