You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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