We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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