the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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