There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
