do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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