where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.