I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect