We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
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just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
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Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim