I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
