Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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