You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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