Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
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He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
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I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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