i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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