yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
