The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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