i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
