I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Randomize
