the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
