Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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