I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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