her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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