oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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