i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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