yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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