clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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