Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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