i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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