i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
