I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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