hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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