Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
