I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
And then my night got REAL pukey
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
