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You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
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