he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
