Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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