Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You can't motorboat a personality
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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