I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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