Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
