There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
