Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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