woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
