I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
