He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Dick very happy bro
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
