Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
