dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
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