the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
