spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
