You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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