i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
