it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
