i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
