is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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