There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
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Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
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No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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