sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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