I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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