I like to think it a success when the cops are called
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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