I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
