just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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